South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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