he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
