You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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