You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
