Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
