This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize