Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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