Got a toothbrush?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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