I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
