I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I am available for nakedness
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
