I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Randomize
