Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
