So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
