im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
