So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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