We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
