why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize