omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
