I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
