somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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