so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
