My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
