He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
