If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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