Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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