it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
