Swine flu. Run for my life!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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