was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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