It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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