i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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