I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
