Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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