He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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