That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
