I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
