Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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