Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
