But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
