i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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