I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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