so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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