We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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