If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
