I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
