Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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