Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
