And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
