So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
