He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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