what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
