Yo dont text me then not text me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize