If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
