i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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