Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
