Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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