Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
