at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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