Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize