I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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